Merry Christmas

Spirits were running a bit low as we wandered the streets of Coban, our 'home' for Christmas.
The few restaurants that were listed in the Lonely Planet were either closed for the festive season or totally closed down. We finally found one which looked ok but decided a little trip to the supermarket to buy beer and nibbles would only be right, well it's not truly Christmas if you haven't queued up in a supermarket is it?

We'd arrived in Coban in a mini bus. The cycling guide we'd found on the net described the 70 odd km road as steep and rough so there was no way we were going to take that on. It was a good decision. The 4 hour journey was pretty nice, us and the other 20 people in the 12 seater mini bus loved every minute of it! Plenty more room on top

Hilux porn

The scenery was beautiful - lush jungle and huge mountains, it all looked a bit Jurassic Park. We bumped our way through some little villages. It was real subsistence living out there. A basic shack to call home, a few scrawny chickens pecking around and the odd halve starved dog. 

It really made me think about what we as westerners have got and despite all we have the fact that many of us just want more and more. I imagined the excess of food soon to be eaten over the festive season and the amount of money that would have been spent buying 'stuff'. Out here (and so many other places like it) there are so many people with virtually nothing. I know we've all thought it and said it before but seeing it especially at this time of year really brought the feeling of how mixed up this world is home to me.
Anyway, want to see Coban? Here ya go

Ain't no one gonna be stealing the presents from under this tree

Downtown

Be afraid, be very afraid

We've got a nice hotel and had just settled down to drinkies on the veranda when Santa brought us a little present in the form of Jerry. Jerry is a Californian dude who's cruising around Guatemala on a rented motorbike with his Aussie mate Scott. We'd seen the 2 motorbikes around in various towns we'd been in as our paths had crossed but we'd not yet met the riders. Scott, who was suffering with dodgy guts turned up a bit later and we had a lovely little evening drinking local rum, beers and eating crisps. 

Christmas morning started with a thumping headache, pancakes and fruit and the departure of the biker boys.  They'd been fun and really helped our party along.

Kate and Mel are currently doing some clothes washing and I'm busy nursing my hangover and typing this. I guess we'll make it down to that restaurant for lunch then back to the hotel to possibly watch a film on Mel's iPhone if the dodgy wifi can handle it....

Enjoy or endure???

It's funny. I sit on Facebook and the worldwide wonder web looking at fantastic photos of cyclists out in wild places, pedalling their way up remote high mountain tracks into the back of beyond. It looks great! Then cut to the reality.... Us, puffing and panting our way up a pathetic few Km's of 10% ascent tarred road. Who am I kidding? There is only one way to be strong at climbing on a bike - Climb on a bike. And Guatemala certainly is a good place to build your strength.....

That slightly nauseous feeling I associate with travelling was with us at breakfast. Mel had recovered during the night to feel almost normal but I was quietly gagging on my scrambled egg on flimsy toast. I just knew I had to eat it as the day ahead would certainly require some fuel.
We had about 70km to ride with an overall descent of about 1000m but also some short punchy climbs (that added to about 500m in total) just to remind us that we were mere mortals.
The cool air, hot sun and lovely pine forest made for a pretty nice ride. We of course had the manic exhaust belching Chicken buses and the vicious speed bumps to content with but nevertheless we enjoyed it a lot

We had a few Km's of broken road, the workers were out in random places shovelling soil into the worst of the potholes. Sometimes it was just a single bloke toiling away, other times it was what we guessed were families, their kids possibly as young as 5 mucking in.

A little roadside drinks stop

There must be an election coming up as there are loads of what look like 'vote for us' adverts up at the roadside. I mean, honestly would you vote for this lot, just look at the guy on the right!

After another disappointing lunch (shite hotdog) we rolled and puffed our way down through gorgeous countryside and into the surprisingly prosperous town of Sacapulus (love that name as well). I kept singing it all day but replacing the Elvis song Bosa Nova with Sacapulus, trouble is I only know the bit that goes Bosa Nova, Bosa Nova dee diddy diddle, dee diddy diddle, dee diddy diddle dum so it got pretty repetitive over the 7 hour ride..

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We saw what looked like vultures feeding on a roadkill dog. I swear that later on in the day during one particularly gruelling, hot climb those buggers were circling me, waiting for my spindly legs to give out.

A couple of beers overlooking the river from our salubrious hotel certainly hit the spot. 

Then after an ok ish but cheaper dinner we headed into town. 
What a result, the Christmas parade was on! Complete with Santa sitting on a rattan armchair on top of a fire engine, a brass marching band, 2 tottie dancers and a very 'well used' pick up truck with a massive PA in the back AND a twirly whirly disco light. 
Now all I need to do is go and screw down what sounds like loose steel plates on the bridge that is next door to the hotel and we might actually get some sleep.
The clanking metal on the bridge was the last of our overnight problems. Firstly there was the bed who's mattress resembled a relief map of the Himalayas with a few sample rocks thrown in for free. Then there were our fellow guests and what sounded like the whole rest of the town crashing the party. What were they doing?! Everything by the sounds of it. Shouting, running, crying, slamming doors, dancing, shouting, did I say that one already? F@ck me, it went on ALL night, I'm not sure I got any sleep at all.....

More scrambled eggs but this time with weird cheese and re fried beans fuelled us for our climb out of Sacapulus. And what a climb it was. This graph gives you an idea of it but it turned out to be about 12km long and took us about 3.5 gruelling hours to do inc all the stops.

The views were lovely but boy was it tough. The loaded bikes are just soooo heavy!!

https://vimeo.com/149923666?utm_source=email&utm_medium=vimeo-cliptranscode-201504&utm_campaign=29220

Finally over the crest we rolled down into Cunen where Mel searched us out a pretty reasonable lunch.

Then we rolled down into a gorgeous green valley. Super fertile and green, loads of pine trees, wild flowers and little farms. It didn't last long enough though before the climb started again. On that graph it doesn't look too bad but what with the morning we'd had, the heat, some broken road (all great excuses) we were done in.  We must have been at about the 30km mark, half way up he climb when we decided enough was enough- Pick truck to the rescue again!!!

I had to force the £2 into the drivers hand, maybe he was thinking that we looked like we needed it more....

We're now in Uspantan, a dusty little town with not much to offer except according to the Lonely Planet book "blasting hot showers" at the wherever we are hotel. Hmm, they lied.....

Forgot this!

At this crazy festival there is a tree trunk which is at least 100ft high stuck in the central square that a ladder has been nailed to. 2 at a time men climb it and sit in a rope noose/ sling. The rope has been coiled up around the top bit that spins. They jump off together and spin down as the rope uncoils. 

Rather them than me!

Also, this made me smile. Gives a whole new meaning to portable BBQ!

Kate saw this in the supermarket. We'll let you know how it tastes!

Boats, buses, bikes, beers and bangers

It was a choppy old ride across the lake, an exhilarating start to a Sunday.

We picked up the bikes from the guest house where we'd left them. The guy had a van, we had a big hill to climb. Sod it, a fiver each would make that 17km a bit easier!

By the time we got to the top at the main highway the weather had gone from 20 degree sunshine to 10 degree drizzle.

We shivered as we set off on what would be a mostly downhill ride of just 18km. The wind whipped up and the rain blew sideways. This certainly wasn't what the doctor ordered...luckily it only lasted long enough to show us how bad it could be.as we descended through twisting pine forest and jungle it warmed up a bit. Down, down, down. Now that only meant one thing.
The climb was only a few km but bloody steep in parts. A bit of pushing, lots of standing up and cranking as hard as you could in our lowest gear (26F & 34R).

Finally at the top we are some rank chicken in a roadside cafe complete with a 'loo with a view' 

and began another less steep rise down into the mountain town of Chichicastenango (love that name!)
We were here to experience the huge market and also their main festival of the year. We checked into our less than fancy but a bit pricey digs and went out for a wander. The cold drizzle & rain came back and to be honest we had to try hard to stay enthusiastic.
The crazy market and sights kept us chipper though (just).

Have xylophone, will travel! Love the way they just soldier on either the help of plastic sacks. (Sorry, can't get videos to embed so you'll have to cut n paste the links).
https://vimeo.com/149643317?utm_source=email&utm_medium=vimeo-cliptranscode-201504&utm_campaign=28749

The hot water in the hotel is solar powered so did nothing to warm our bones. Here is kate just out of the shower and Mel waiting for us, ready to go out for dinner.

We stopped off in a little local bar- you can tell the bars as they have dirty sheets hanging, half covering the open doorways. Once inside it felt a little intimidating at first but once a few local lads stole themselves away from the soft porn videos playing in the corner to say "ola" we began to relax. 1 beer was enough though...

The morning brought some welcome sunshine. Time to get into the festivities. How can I describe it? One word, mental.
Crazy processions of masked characters, huge multi coloured 'punka walla chairs' but with coffins or statues inside them.

 Ear bleeding music, crowds, crush and bedlam. That is until they need to clear the church steps. How do they do this? With fireworks of course! Huge grenade style ones launched in a heavy metal pipe followed by strings of bangers lobbed around and of course blokes launching rockets (lit from his fag) from his bare hands. The air, constantly full of gun powder smoke and falling paper debris (some still smouldering). Full on!!

https://vimeo.com/149675552?utm_source=email&utm_medium=vimeo-cliptranscode-201504&utm_campaign=29220

https://vimeo.com/149675907?utm_source=email&utm_medium=vimeo-cliptranscode-201504&utm_campaign=28749

We've come back to the hotel for a bit of a rest. The action will definitely still be there in a few hours but hopefully not into the night.....

Oh anyone fancy a 120y estate or need your tuk tuk fixing, then this is the place...

Settling into it

Now I don't want and certainly don't expect to get any sympathy but this travelling malarkey takes a bit of setting into. If you've done it yourself then you may understand what I'm talking about. You may also think (especially if your time away had been limited to 2 week holidays) that I am either a moaning Minnie or "what's his problem, all that exotic land, foreign food, sunshine and no worries".

Well a 2 week package holiday this is not. One challenge on a longer term trip is limiting your daily spend to make the coffers go the distance. In Asia that is quite easy, here the dollars seem to disappear quite a bit quicker just on the basics. You have to be more mindful before buying yourself a little slice of niceness as in a fancier hotel or eatery. 

We're at Lake Atitlan.  Google it, doesn't it look/sound great?

 Mountain bike trips in the jungle, kayaking, diving, hiking.... Yeah great but they all need to be paid for on top of the necessary accommodation and food. I also slightly object to doing these things as they fall so squarely into  'tourist activities' and I am still in semi denial that I am a tourist....
Anyway, here are some photos of the place. 

We're beginning to get back into the swing of things. Checking the guesthouse rooms before committing. Lugging the gear up the stairs. The discovery of whether or not you have a lumpy bed with super cheap thin sheets and chopped foam pillows. Are arses are becoming accustomed to the uncomfortable chairs in the restaurants. Our ears are relearning to block out the dogs barking at night and the roosters at dawn followed by our neighbour coughing his guts up. 
Oh, here's our roof terrace by the way

And some old motors

This the reality of it. Sound grim? In some ways it is but its also fun. What's missing so far though is an element of the 'pay back'. To be fair, we haven't actually put much effort in or really got out amongst it yet. I expected all of the above, it's unavoidable.  But previously we've had more in return without doing much. Maybe that's the magic of Asia, maybe I've got rose tinted glasses. I can't quite work out what's missing. Maybe the riding here is a bit too hard to make it enjoyable? The worry of bandidos or petty crime? Are there less western travellers to chat/interact with? Lots of the tourists are more 'local looking'  It's a busy time of year so logistics are harder as we feel we need to book ahead which puts pressure on? The food is a bit bland? It's all more expensive? I just can't put my finger on it. Maybe we were expecting/wanting too much? Maybe we've done a bit too much of this type of thing and are 'over it'.
Don't get me wrong, it's not all doom and gloom it's just not 'there' yet.

We've taken a boat across to another town which is more chilled and hippy dippy/backpackerish. 

We've taken a 4 berth room for the 3 of us in what is reputably the flashiest place in town. Everywhere else was pretty rank. You get to our suite across a little private bridge. The identical room downstairs is empty. Oh except for the fact it is half full of water. The room in front was abandoned a few years back....

It seems they can't use the water in the lake quick enough and its claiming the land back.
There's a wind whipping up and the lake has choppy waves on it that are lashing at our building. Don't worry though because we can drown (should I use that word?!) the noise out by playing our private piano. Yes, for some bizarre reason our room has its own piano in it. From now on I'll expect nothing less!
The room is £12 each per night. To be honest it's a bit skanky around the edges. Sound cheap? Well in Asia when we paid £8 a night each we got pretty swanky digs with fluffy white towels folded into the shape of swans. No piano though, I've never had a piano before, this could mark a turning point.....