We're still here...

Hmm, we haven't done much in the last few days so I thought I'd give you an Attenboroughesque wildlife tour of the island of Omotepe. Don't worry, it won't take long.
Here is a cow on the beach at night

A Magpie Jay with a fancy long tail and a sticky up bit on its head

Some horses having their morning drink from the fresh water lake. They made a great interruption to our rather limp attempt at yoga. (cracking photo though eh?!)

A funny shaped turtle

A dead baby Coral snake. Apparently an adult one is capable of killing a human. It appears things don't always turn out that way though eh?

Some Howler Monkeys. These dudes make a weird howling, guttural barking sound that is way deeper and more powerful than their cute, fluffy appearance would have you think

Oh and 2 yellow birds

Last but certainly not least is the lesser spotted MAECI - Middle Aged English Cylist Idiot doing a typical pathetic display of macho behaviour whilst proving to his mate that he definitely was the right choice of all the other humans available on the planet (?) 

We also met some very nice people. A Norwegian cyclist who's ridden From Norway to Spain and then flew to the bottom of Argentina and rode from there.
Then there was the English dad & teenage daughter on a 10 day self guided tour on hire bikes (doesn't need to be epic to be fun).
A very nice Swiss couple (soon to be married?) who were doing basically the reverse of us.
Two Dutch ladies who were both SIXTY. They were doing a 3 month cycle tour of Panama and Nicaragua with lots of camping and dirt roads thrown in. They thought nothing of it as last year whilst cycling in Asia they met a couple in their SEVENTIES out on the road on their bikes. The cycling bug only bit them a few years prior! See, there's hope for us all (well not you mum, sorry....)

We've got just under 3 weeks of this trip left (you won't need to suffer too many more blog posts I promise). We cross into Costa Rica tomorrow. We're probably not going to get to Panama as we'll fly from San Jose in Costa Rica to Miami to pick up the flight home. 

We're sitting at the same bar in the town of Moyogalpa where we sat a few nights ago. Kate's recognised one of the scrawny local dogs who was hanging around the other day. We wonder how much he's eaten since we last saw him? We've eaten loads, we estimate that it's got to be at least a big buckets worth of spaghetti, banana pancakes, fish, rice etc. Please don't get me started on western decadence again but I do ask that if you've enjoyed reading this blog that you whack a couple of quid into whichever charity you feel needs it the most. We live in a lovely world but there are definitely lots of people and animals who might not whole heartedly agree with that statement. 
Love to all xx

Ps

Purely due to the lack of material, I don't feel that this post is up to my usual highly Witty standard (?) so here is a joke for free.

I've just learnt that the residents of Dubai don't ever watch the Flintstones but apparently the folks in Abu Dhabi do!!

Isla de Omotepe

It was hard to tear ourselves away from La Manchion hotel. We'd monopolised the waiter's time ordering food at dinner. Still, he needent of worried, we were the only diners in a place that would easily hold 100. We didn't fancy anything off the menu so once we'd established that we wanted to go 'off piste', we went in for the kill. "Omelette possible?" "Si". "Omelette with what?" "Eggs". Still, the view was nice....

The 40 odd km ride to Rivas was hot, blustery and a bit unpleasant on the main road with quite a bit of heavy traffic and a narrow shoulder. The Nicaraguan farmers have certainly done their best to destroy the local vegetation. Apparently it gets more lush once across the border into Costa Rica.....

We got blown off the road twice by the strong side winds, luckily both times we were near a grass verge rather than deep gutters that occurred quite often. Undeterred we powered up on a rather melted Snickers

And then fell for the lure of the aircon Burger King once we reached town.

Rumours were that the ferry out to the volcanic island of Omotepe weren't running due to the wind (see, told you it was blustery!). We rode out to the port to try our luck. Yes they were and there was one going in 10 minutes. Result.  We pedalled out onto the pier where we experienced our first bit of Central American negativity. The boat guy said we couldn't board as they were full. It was pretty chockers I'll give him that but c'mon, this is the land of 'no problemo'. 

We really didn't want to wait another 2 hours for the next boat so I unclipped a pannier to show him that our mighty machines were in fact just mere bicycles. There was a narrow gap just the right size and I pointed at it. Old Pedro's brain then kicked into gear and he went one better telling a truck driver to "drop your tailgate mate, they're coming aboard" and in one fell swoop both bikes were lifted into the back of the empty truck. Sorted.

We walked through into the rather bizarre passenger seating area. After the excitement and action of  the loading we were now in a stale smelling 'bus' full of backpackers wearing life jackets watching the latest Rocky movie on an old TV that was held to the wall with ratchet straps. Somehow we managed to bag a couple of seats right by the window and with a quick "toot toot", we were off!

The lake was pretty choppy but to be honest I can't see why the boats had been cancelled the day before, the rumour, for once, being true. I had a great view of the island about 17km away and couldn't resist a photo. As I got my very non waterproof iPhone out, I watched the water, wary of the spray that had been flying up as we crashed our way along. Ooh, here comes a good one, this'll impress the folks back home I thought...

We spent the next few minutes in a bit of a panic drying out my phone, the passports and my wallet. Still, no damage done and even if I say it myself, a bit of a cracking shot don't you think?

This is the view I was trying to get

Once safely on shore and installed in yet another shabby, slightly overpriced hostel (we can hardly be bothered to look around now) we wandered back to the pier for a classica (that's the local beer) and the obligatory sunset shot

"Bloody poxy lonely planet maps. Why can't they just put more detail on them for people with independent transport rather than  just the vague stuff that bloody backpackers need when getting a taxi or tuk tuk?"  It was about 11am, we'd been riding down a dirt road for about 10km and feeling a bit hot n bothered.  We were on our way to a nature reserve that promised nice walking tracks, some swimming and hopefully a chance to see some monkeys. We'd stopped at a little shop for a drink. 

Typically for the region, the shop sold no water, just coke and local fizzy, sugary filth. We asked if they had anything to eat, expecting a bit of half stale cake or another bag of chilli flavoured crisps. Yes, she had something, we didn't know what it was but we'll have 2 please. They rustled up a couple of plastic chairs and out came a very clean looking Christmas tablecloth. The food arrived. We recognised it as something we'd had in Granada. It's a base of yucca with shredded cabbage on top. Hidden in there somewhere is what the fancy TV chef would describe as "a robust serving of..."  where as I would say, "An effing massive bit...." of pork crackling.  The whole thing is then drizzled (another poncy chef's word) with chilli vinaigrette. The one we had in Granada was delicious but.... On the ride the day before, we'd witnessed some pretty brutal treatment of a pig who was being pulled against its will out of a field by a truck with a rope from the towbar. I couldn't bring myself to eat the pork so fed it to the shop owners dog. Old Rover gave me a "really, are you serious?" look before running off into the bushes with his easily won booty. 

To my great surprise, animal loving Kate chomped through hers with glee, saying that it was fantastic, second only to the generous portion served at the carvery at the Nothe Tavern in Weymouth!

It was only after we'd finished eating and Kate had shared her leftover Yucca with the local pig (oh the irony) that I noticed my mistake. 

The lonely planet (God bless their cotton socks) had in fact included all the necessary detail on their map to find the reserve, we (not just me) had read it wrong. We were now in fact pretty much on completely the wrong side of the island having taken completely the wrong road out of town. No wonder the backpackers on rented motorbikes had been a bit thin on the ground!

We rode on. It was rough but enjoyable.  

I've never seen this sign before

Eventually we made it round to a beach resort on the north side of the island (Playa Domingo for you map lovers) but not before getting another couple of comedy photos

We checked into the cheapest place in town (bit fancy here) and by chance, met another cyclist doing the whole 'bottom of Argentina to Alaska' thing. His serious bike & kit made our 'rigs' look like they came out of a Christmas cracker!

We then happily whiled away the afternoon at the beach. Despite Kate's guts not feeling great she managed to force down a banana/yoghurt smoothie and some chocolate kate, her spirits raised by the more than pleasant view.

A day of 2 halves

Bank.... View..... Bank...... View.....  Any idea what we were up to? Do these photos help?

It was a steep old climb out from Laguna de Apoyo and sharply zig zagging up the hill was the only way we could keep pedalling and not get off to push. I tried to convince myself that riding out of a volcano crater was actually exciting but in reality it was just hard work.

Quite a few people had recommended this place and seeing as it was only a couple of hours ride from Granada, how could we resist?
Now I don't want to sound like a Moaning Minnie but I'm afraid the place just didn't hit the spot with us. The weather wasn't the best (bit cloudy and very windy) making the lake pretty choppy and not the reputed aquamarine bliss we'd been told about. Our hotel (the only one available) was a bit shite, although still the same price as the nicer ones... Blah blah blah. Anyway, here are some photos that'll probably make you think that I am a Moaning Minnie, especially if you're reading this in the cold drizzle somewhere...

We only stayed the one night and by 9.30 (departure delayed due to  very near 'accident' in the toilet dept on my part) we were at the top of the crater after completing the 3km of aforementioned bank... Climb.... Phew, am I waffling? (More than normal?!)

It actually felt great to be back on the road again. We'd decided to take a small track out over the back of the volcano that would eventually lead us down to the road south that we needed. We wanted to get things back in our control and go/do what we wanted, not what the guide book 'told you to'.

Things started well. Then the road got steeper. Bank... Bank.... (No view this time) until eventually we had to give up and push. Steeper still. We tried zig zag pushing but that didn't really work very well so we resorted to doing the 'Superman', a technique also employed by mums all around the world whilst pushing their kids in buggies on steep hills. Here is kate doing an excellent Clark Kent (well, sort of)

Flippin eck it were steeper than anything we'd been on, ever

Mind you, when the view came back it made it worth it.

Despite the hard work we were having fun. We stopped off for a chat with the locals

And then when this doddery old bloke turned up I couldn't resist helping him down for a bit. When I'd had enough and said I needed to go back up, instead of thanking me, the cheeky bugger asked for some money! 

So, extra puffed out from the walk back up AND 25p down (he did thank me for that) we marked the occasion with the selfie stick. I keep telling kate it's a GoPro pole but seeing as the GoPro (cheapo copy actually) hasn't been out of its bag yet, I guess it's a saddo selfie stick...

By the time we reached the top we'd done the grand total of 7km in 2 hours with a rise of 600m. We needed a drink!

We bimbled into the sleepy little village of San Juan del Oriente and found a little shop selling plants and delish homemade fruit punch. The owner told us there was a lookout point at the top of the street so off we went. Bloody hell we got a shock. It was 'tour bus central'. The place was swarming with American tourists, some walking around drinking beer at 11.30am. One of the bus drivers actually used a whistle to 'herd up' his fee paying passengers, I mean, come on! We dutifully took a photo of the view and quickly skidaddled back down the road to a more genuine eatery that was quite a bit smarter than many we've been to. We got a few gawping looks as the aircon buses rolled past, imagining the "Gee honey, was that 2 white people in that terrible looking place?" comments.

We were unfortunately back in civilisation. The road got hot and busy as we headed down towards the main highway. Despite a very blustery head/side wind we covered ground quite quickly only stopping when we met Jorge (George) who was riding from the bottom tip of Argentina to his home in Mexico

Nice guy and a true cycle enthusiast. Check his tattoo out!

Passing the town of Nandaime we pulled over for a drink stop. We bought some tasty snacks from a grumpy old wizened lady, thinking they'd perk us up for a few more miles in the saddle. They turned out to be like the most horrible, shite stinky toe jam cheese stale cold waffle/toast. For some reason the person who made them (wizened hag?) thought that by sprinkling sugar on them they'd actually taste nice?

We thought we might try to push on until the town of Rivas, some 40km of hot, blustery road away.  The Hotel Manchion had other ideas though... We've seen so many signs for places along the way. Sometimes the signs make the place look really flash until reality comes into sight. Sometimes it's the other way around, sometimes the hotel never materialises. So, expectations were low but this time, results were high. Check this place out!

For $30 inc breakfast (saved 10% by saying we didn't need a receipt nod, nod, wink, wink) we got a Welcome Cocktail (well ice tea actually) and a few hours sitting here

Gotta be happy with that! Cheers

De nada Granada

I've had comments about the somewhat wayward direction this blog is going in. Some say it would appear that the longer this trip goes on, the further the subject matter strays.....moi? Never!

We were sat on yet another bus. At a major stop a bunch of vendors got on, each calling out what goodies they had for sale. We bought some cake and were served up 2 pieces in a little black plastic bag. There was no mention of "excuse fingers" as the bloke fumbled our dirty bank notes and the moist sponge with the same well worn hands. A drinks vendor made his way down the bus. The cans of Super Cola were in a big washing up bowl full of ice that he skilfully balanced on one arm and his shoulder. The bowl also carried a pack of drinking straws. The packet was torn open at the top and as he walked forward the straws dragged along the bus roof and intermingled with the passenger grab rail. Yucko! 

I broke my mind away from how fantastic the human body is at fighting germs and moved my thoughts to our destination of Granada. All I could think about  was the famous metallic tan motor of DI Jack Regan and his side kick DS George Carter racing around nicking criminals. 

Those 2 were so tough, we needed to be more like them! The sight of 2 fully panniered cyclists coming the other direction was just too much to bear. We must dig deep, harden up, face our enemy and get off at the next stop!

I'm not sure what those 2 tough crime fighting hard men would have thought of the bus station at Masaya but it didn't look good to us. 

Time to get out of Dodge and head for Granada but on bicycles..... Phew, this is getting complicated!

We found the road out of town but first needed something to eat.   A little shop selling mainly painting materials plus a few other things that looked like they'd fallen off the back of a lorry (don't even think about mentioning Arthur Dailey) fitted the bill. The owner's enterprising wife knew that her customers would be hungry so it appeared that she'd brought a few bits of food from home and could easily knock us up a couple of quick smorgasbords "No problemo".

19 easy km later we reached Granada and had our easiest find of our hotel to date.  Quick shower and off exploring. It's a nice town but way too touristy for our liking. 

Really?! 

Hardly the most original idea for 'today's special' whilst in a Central American country is it?

There was a pedestrian street with restaurants spilling out onto it which made us feel like we were in Leicester Square, prices were heading that way as well.  We walked to a cafe recommended by Gary and Gill but couldn't stretch to the super expensive beer Gary had raved about, going instead for some tasty, strong mojitos at half the price of Gary's fave tipple.

Which photo d'you prefer? Kate's slightly touched up 'tourist special' or the second one she took with Spot the Dog adding his own signature (you may need to zoom in to find him)

One thing this place is famous for are the old school barbershops. My mop has been getting pretty unruly so when I saw this place I couldn't resist

Kate went off to have a look around a beautiful old crumbling church as the lady barber got busy with a yard broom and garden shears. Now my Spanish still hasn't improved so I resorted to explaining how I wanted it cut by using the same one word and hand actions I do when asking for my eggs to be scrambled at breakfast. Luckily I'd also had the foresight to download this photo from the net, setting a very fair and reasonable target in doing so.

For 3 quid I don't think she did a bad job. Here's me looking the spitting image of Mr Law 

and again, just to 'keep it real'  here I am doing my best Quentin Crisp!

Granada is not by any means a dangerous city but it is definitely  one of the places I've felt a bit nervous. There are so many tourists here that it would be hard for petty crime to not go on. Many of these tourists are pretty green and therefore must make easy targets. I went into 'safe mode', a feeling I haven't really felt much at all on this whole trip.

Speaking of 'safe mode', how about this for a toilet?! And that is where I'll sign off for now