Pinch me, I'm dreaming!

We got to the motorbike hire place at 8.30 as arranged. We were supposed to be renting a yellow Honda Wave ( already christened "the yellow peril") and another mighty Honda, a Dream. I'm not sure why its called a dream because it isn't as good as a Wave but there you go.
Anyway, neither bike was there. The guy said he'd sort 2 bikes out pronto and we went next door for a coffee. We wanted the little scooter type bikes as we didn't have any proper motorbiking gear with us and felt that if we took something 'proper' there was more chance of getting excited and coming a cropper. 
After a few minutes, they came into sight. "The Black Shadow" (kate bagsied it straight away) and "The Silver Dream Machine" for me. Imagine my disappointment when upon closer inspection I realised that the sleek bodywork was not actually silver but grey. Instant demotion to "The Grey Nomad".....
Anyway, we were off. The run out through the suburbs of Chiang Mai was a simple task. I can't say it enough that I reckon Thailand is such a great place to 'cut your teeth' in the sphere of Adventure Motorbiking. It's safe, cheap, friendly but still gives a great frisson of excitement and Asian mystique. If you're only half interested in doing something like this then just come here, you'll love it.
The road was flat and straight, the only down side was the filthy air quality. The farmers burn off the fields to prepare them for next seasons crop.  Mix that with the general dust and pollution and it was making our eyes sting and throats sore. We stopped at a 7-11 and bought some breathing masks.

If that's Wallace, where's Grommet?!

After an hour or so, we spotted a big temple on a hill so pulled over for a bit of a break and also some gratuitous bike photos. Feast your eyes on these beauties!

The temple itself was like nothing we'd seen before. A peculiar mix of the familiar and some pretty bizarre 'extras' including a pumpkin big enough to stand in and possibly a tribute to Steve Irwin

The reclining Buddha was massive but from a distance appeared to have some sort of bum fluff beard going on, which turned out to be wasps nests

We rode on to the town of Hot which lived up to its name

It was over 35 degrees in the little roadside cafe where we enjoyed our plate of 50p spicy fried rice

This guys bike made ours look a bit boring

We were now heading up into the hills. It was great to have an engine for a change. Long climbs just meant a quick down change of gears and a twist of the wrist, it made a mockery of that pedalling malarkey!
Kate getting her knee down (sort of)

Above all when Adventure Biking it is imperative that you look cool. Here I am doing my best Steve McQueen. What do we reckon to that?

Brochure shot???

More great riding through smooth(ish) twisty tarmac brought us to the town of Mae Saraing where we checked into a lovely riverside guesthouse (the river is a tad dry) with one of the nicest rooms we've had of the whole trip for £17 between us, including breakfast.

Oh, and for all you people who say/think we're adventurous, take a look at this

http://karunfilm.com/watch/?utm_source=Tom%27s+Bike+Trip+Newsletter&utm_campaign=edbd3f6fe5-Karun_Short_Free_View&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_9ecc34ebb5-edbd3f6fe5-84699129

Bikes, what bikes?

We were beginning to give up. All the decent bicycle shops in Chiang Mai didn't deal with secondhand stuff. The shops that did only dealt in £30 single speed sit up & beg bikes so weren't interested. We weren't in a jam. I was happy (ish) to bring mine home and our friends Danielle & Mike who live here said they'd sell Kate's on her behalf. 

We were in the last shop on our list, it didn't look hopeful. A guy was browsing the new bikes for sale. I nearly didn't bother to speak to him (his camo t shirt  and checked short combo was a little off putting) but gave it a go. He wasn't interested in our bikes but put us onto another shop we'd not heard of. To cut a long story short, they bought both bikes off us for just under half of the price we paid for them. Good deal, bad deal? Percentage wise it doesn't sound great but it works out that it actually cost us £230 each for the ownership/use of the bikes for about 10 weeks. That equates to the price of one latte in Costa's per day.  We covered the best part of 2400km on them (we're not sure of the exact figure as we didn't have the computers on for all the city riding) but that's close enough.  It was a hassle free in & out deal and we walked off (carrying our saddles we'd brought from England) with smiles on our faces. A chance meet, a quick haggle and bish, bosh, bash we were done.

We've booked 2 motorbikes for a 5 day tour starting tomorrow and are then back to Chiang Mai for next weekend (inc a quick Thai cooking class) and then the overnight sleeper train to Bangkok. We'll have 2 days there to mince around and then it's the big bird in the sky back to Blighty.

Apart from that we've just been taking it easy. Kate's had a pedicure (they managed to not make her toes bleed like they did in Cambodia). Chiang Mai is pretty damn touristy, it seems difficult to get away from it. I really wanted to love it here (I came here in1987 and have fond memories) but I'm just not feeling it this time.   Oh well, we'll stick with Greenwich for now then....

Men and Motors

Just a few photos of bikes & cars spotted around Chiang Mai and prompted by a little meet we stumbled across. Sorry pics are a bit dark, please send all complaints to Steve Jobs and mark email. Subject "shit camera"

Especially for Seth

Especially for Dan Mac D

Especially for Tricky

Jap porn (and a Capri)

Especially for anyone ridiculous

Ah, ya, ve ef unt motorbiken 

HD Harley's

Stretch

And stretch some more

That'll do...

Progress eh?

We crossed back into Thailand the next morning. A new bridge (the Friendship Bridge IV) now links Laos and Thailand at Houay Xay & Chiang Khong. With a bit of www research we discovered that bicycles are not allowed to ride over it, nor can you walk. Why, we do not know, I guess there is no shoulder to ride on? What a shame, we wanted to 'experience' our transfer back into Thailand. I guess this type of thing doesn't matter to many people in the busy modern world.

We also wanted to ride this funky bit of road that automatically puts you back in the correct side of the road for thailand.

There is also still a ferry to cross the Mekong but its now not available to non locals (kate has asked me to stop using the term Whities) as the immigration office has been moved to the bridge. Another experience lost....

Hmm, bus it was then. We got up for an early breakfast and also got to see the local monks doing their walk from the temple to the monastery. Everyone comes out to greet them and donate food (or money?). Although this dog came empty handed, he at least got into the spirit of the occasion.

We then rode out 6km to the bus station for the 8am bus for Chiang Rai (as stated on the timetable and lonely planet). "No 8 o'clock, you wait 9 o'clock. You pay 57,000 person, 50,000 bicycle".  Now thats not progress or non progress its just annoying! It was only a fiver for us and 4 quid per bike but it seemed a rip off just to lob them on the bus roof, hopefully tied on with a piece of string and guarded by a few chickens. Begrudgingly we paid. The bus arrived and the reason for the expense became apparent. It was a fancy, new bus. Aircon, swoopy stylish body, air suspension, ABS etc but no roof rack. The 2 bikes took up over a third of the luggage space under the bus and as it got fuller, bags were put on the seats. I guess that's why they charge so much.

It all felt a bit constricting. Rules & regulations to control us and money to pay when accepting them.  Its just that we've seen so much freedom and 'health & safety craziness' in the the last couple of months and only 2 little silly accidents as a result of countless '1st world no-no's' that the thought of coming back into the sanitised, kid gloved, cotton wool lined, sanitised, homogenised world with its systems & protocols leave us feeling a bit sad. Now, many of our choices would become limited, options removed. Yes the modern world is safer, more comfortable and efficient. Yes we can choose food that isn't noodle soup and sleep in a guest house that doesn't look like a scene from Midnight Express but now, due to progress, our experiences would be dulled and life just not so, well.....alive?

The scenery for the drive was ok and the driver certainly tried his best to get us to our destination as quickly as possible. We tracked our progress on the maps on our phones. Blimey, don't buses go fast compared to bicycles? A full long day of riding dusted off in less than 2 hours! It was mainly flat, relatively boring countryside of paddy fields and small dusty towns. Thailand is definitely busier and more prosperous than Laos or Cambodia, of that there is no doubt. Not that the intrepid backpackers would have noticed anything. I did actually hear one of them squawk "ooh, we're in Thailand" and then, within minutes the whole bus was asleep.

Our next bus onwards from Chiang Rai to Chiang Mai wasn't for a couple of hours, giving us just enough time to ride down for a look at the White Temple. We'd had mixed reports of it but it seemed worth a go. Tell you what, we're not actually going to give our opinion of it, if you want to know, you'll just have to go.

One thing that caught my eye on the ride back was a car dealer who seemed to have a passion for old Fords

On the next bus my seat was in permanent recline so it was a bit tricky to see out the window. I did notice that after a while the road was winding up and down through nice jungle. It seemed a shame not to be riding. Under closer inspection though I saw that the road was really busy, the hard shoulder came & went. According to the thermometer in the bus it was 35 degrees out there. Yep, maybe my seat in aircon comfort wasn't too bad. I did resist the urge to sleep though, worried that someone may take a photo of me and put me on their blog! 

Slow boat to Thailand

Now don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against backpackers..... Well, maybe I have a bit. I did it when I were a lad. The last time was around SE Asia in 1996 when I was coming up 30. Quite old really for all that malarkey. I do remember vowing that I'd not do it again.  

The thing is, backpacking around these parts is so easy but somehow they all walk about with a swagger of "I'm so cool, I've been here, I've done this...."

I'm only feeling miffed today due to our rather stressy start to a Wednesday morning. We planned to get the 2 day slow boat up to the border with Thailand. A backpackers experience of this would be to stumble out of their guest house at 7.30, clamber into their pre booked tuk tuk and get driven to the boat. All quite simple.
When we asked about buying the tickets for the boat (that includes the pick up & transport to the boat itself) the bikes seemed to be causing a bit of a problem. "Lets just ride to the place Kate, the Lonely Planet says its 10km out of town towards the east at Ban Do. There's only 1 road east, how hard can it be to find?". So the next morning off we pedalled, leaving at 7am to give ourselves plenty of time. Pedal, pedal, pedal. At 5.7km there was a town (Ban Duan). Similar name but not the same and at way under the 10km mark it couldn't be it. Pedal, pedal, pedal. A bit sweaty now and at just before 8am we reached the 10km mark. There was a petrol station with 2 young attendants. "Boat station?" we asked, they giggled. One pointed one way, the other, the other. Hmm. The boat apparently sails at 8.30.
We hadn't seen any tuk tuks with whities aboard for a while so we decided to head back towards town and  try Ban Duan. We saw a dirt track running down towards the water. We followed it. It took us to a wood yard. The dog on patrol just about allowed me down to the waters edge where I hoped I might be able to see any boats moored up somewhere up or downstream. Nothing. Pedal, pedal, pedal. Another track took us steeply down to a police station where we were shooed away by a gruff guy with fandangled epaulettes. The steep climb back to the main road was tough and unwelcome.
Finally we found the correct turning (we saw a string of empty tuk tuks coming out and guessed they may have dropped off our intrepid backpacker pals). 

With 20km clocked up we rode down the slope to see a boat sailing away. It was 8.20. What?! We waved, they waved. We waited, they kept going. Bollocks!

There were some barges loading up with stuff and another boat tied up downstream that looked like the photos of the slow boat the travel agents had shown us. We pushed the bikes, squeezing between a bunch of trucks, slowly making our way along the little sandy beach, clambering under ropes and over planks that were being used to load stuff onto the cargo boats. 
Yep, there were whities on that boat, "c'mon, let this work, please" I said to myself as I panted. El Capitano gestured us forward, pointing at the bikes and then at the roof of the boat. Result! Sorted.....
"Ticket?" "No ticket" "go ticket" "where ticket" "up ticket". Kate got on board and I ran up the steep hill & steps to a small concrete building. Out came the little book, out came the date stamp, out came the pen, on went our names, out came the wallet, back came the change and hey presto, as easy as being a couple of "yeah man I'm just, you know, backpacking my way around Asia you know" we were done. All be it a little stressed, dripping with sweat, panting like a butchers dog, but.... We were done!

Off we pop popped up the river. To date we've swum in the Mekong, crossed the Mekong on various bridges and boats and we're now sailing up it. The Mekong is our friend.
Our seats were up the front with the baggage and the locals. The backpackers were all together at the other end (the stern I do believe they call these places in nautical speak).

Within half an hour 50% of the intrepid passengers were asleep, well, they'd had a hard day.......

One thing I did notice during the week we'd spent in Luang Prubang was how hairy my knees & calves have become. I've not worn long trousers for over 2 months so i guess nothing has rubbed the hairs off. I'd meant to take a photo but hadn't got around to it. talk about "if you want something done, ask a busy person".... Our 'cruise' gave me plenty of time

Finally at about 6pm we got to Pakbeng, the little town for our overnight stop. It was friendly enough but had a kind of 'money grabby' feel to it, the first we've felt on the whole trip. The town only survives because the boats pull in there and they basically have to fight their neighbours to grab business as you either look for a guesthouse or for something to eat. 

It is probably the smallest village that most of the backpackers have been to as they whisk around the country from city to city on the big buses. I must admit that if this is what I thought they were all like that I too would give them a miss.

We nabbed a seat in the correct part of the boat for day 2. It was a misty start to the day. We'd eaten breakfast with a German cyclist who was heading in the opposite direction to us. He'd opted to ride the long road loop around to Luang Prabang. Neither of us felt envious as he rode off up the steep high street. I think we're about done with hot, sweaty mountain roads for a while.

The day passed calmly and peacefully. The backpackers amused themselves playing cards,games on their phones or sleeping. I watched them and seriously, none of them were paying any attention to their surroundings at all. Steep, jungle clad hills with little workers huts, cleared land with grazing cattle, half submerged rocks or logs all rolled past as they waited to play their Joker or whatever. 

They could have been in the Maccas at Heston services for all the attention they gave their lovely environment. I guarantee though that if you asked any of them about their trip whilst in a bar in the next town the answer would be a resounding "Ah ya, ze Mekong ya, it is like so kool, you've just gotta go do it man....."

So, we'll be flying home in 2 weeks. It feels like the trip is already over but we still have as much time as most people's annual holiday. I'm not gloating, it's just a reality check on life for you and us. We're running out of time and want to squeeze in a few days doing the Mae Hong Son loop (otherwise known as the Road of 1000 bends) on motorbikes. :-)